Tracing grandma's footsteps: #1

Grandma's Footsteps c.2011

Address : 808 S. Broadway Downtown Los Angeles

Year: 1976

Former Name : Ideal Fashions

Current Name: Anjac Fashion 

I was very excited to visit the first location of my grandma's former workplaces. To be honest, I was thinking about how to approach this project throughout the day. Instead of walking to all of the locations in one go, I decided to visit one location in a given day and in chronological order.

I should mention my grandma was a seamstress her entire life, which will give everyone a better idea of the type of buildings she was at. She loved to sew outside of work too. She'd make some clothes for me when she had the extra time and resources. My favorite handmade item was a purple dress she made especially for my 2nd grade picture day. But I digress...

After I got out of work and ate a quick dinner out, I looked at the stapled 1976 W2 forms and selected one address. With a full stomach and renewed energy, I walked from Flower down to Broadway along 7th street. As I was looking for the street numbers, I noticed I wasn't too far from the location. I was at 710 and needed to find 808. The majority of the street numbers on that side of Broadway are hard to find. Most are missing or just hand painted. It was a different feeling to walk while looking up for the numbers. The shops and stands along Broadway are so overwhelmingly "in your face" that it's easy to miss some of the architectural designs that are directly above everyone's heads over second floor.

 Grandma's Footsteps c.2011

As I approached 806, I saw two unnumbered spaces then 810. I asked a vendor next door which one was 808, and she pointed at the chained gate. She went on to tell me it's out of business and completely empty. I was surprised since it didn't look abandoned. There was a security camera and the decals on the doors were completely in tact, so it looked like it was just closed for the day. I asked the vendor how long had it been closed and she said it's been about 6 months.

Grandma's Footsteps c.2011

Based on the tax form, my grandma wasn't there for too long. She never went into detail about why she  left her jobs. All I know is that she simply moved onto the next place. It was the only way she knew how to survive. She had to, for herself and for her two daughters. I'll always be thankful for that and I'll continue to thank her by retracing these steps.

The Purple Dress

f*ck yeah side ponytail!

An apology

Ditch days

c.2007

(Written March 2011)

Mom,

Late last year when you had the sudden urge to eat at Clifton’s Cafeteria, I thought it was really strange. I remember going there several times when I was little but I didn’t remember the food being anything special. My memories attached to that place are associated with a specific court case when I was 8.  That’s where we ate right after the trial and I don't remember enjoying it after that day.

When I asked why you suddenly wanted to go back, you shared something I never heard before. Your first meal when you came to this country was at Clifton’s Cafeteria. That was actually really cool to learn. But for some reason (my own selfish reasons) I kept putting off our lunch date at Clifton’s. To tell you the truth, there were too many other places I wanted to take you to eat instead. I tried my best to keep our bi-monthly lunch dates. But in the end, I let my own bad memories associated with Clifton’s deprive you of your own nostalgia.

When your neurological exam was finally scheduled for Friday March 25^th, I was happy for many reasons. Not only was I thrilled that you were prepared to take the necessary steps to tackle this brain tumor, but I was also looking forward to our ditch day. We were finally going to eat at Clifton’s and then go to the L.A. Zoo, like you’d been wanting for some time. That was the plan.

My heart stopped for a moment when I saw you lose consciousness the night of the 11^th. On the way to the hospital, I didn’t want to believe that this was all unraveling two weeks before your scheduled exam, and before our ditch day. As the days passed, I became anxious, especially when I learned of the possibility of multiple procedures. I wanted you to come home for a while before going back to the hospital. When the first procedure didn’t go as planned, I couldn’t wait for you to wake up. The danger was becoming too real. I shared my fears with my close friends and I couldn’t wait to promise you we’d be going to Clifton’s the moment you got out of there. My worst fears were confirmed when I was informed you were rushed to a second emergency procedure and you were never going to wake up. From one day to the next, I never thought my last words to you would be just that. Last words.

 I’m so sorry I kept putting off your simple requests…a meal at Clifton’s being the most recent one. That will always haunt me every time I walk by the corner of 7^{th  &} Broadway. Of course there are a million other things I would’ve done differently. I honestly assumed we had more time. Everyday I wish we had more time.